During the three years that Brad and I dated before he proposed to me, I was never asked by anyone if I had problems with his mom. Likewise, Brad was never asked if he and my mom had issues. But after we announced our engagement, we discovered the social norm of mother-in-law speculation.
I don’t know how it got started, but I know that everyone kind of just expects to have issues with mother-in-laws. I think that more often than not the expectation of problems causes problems.
There are people out there who have legitimate conflicts with their in-laws that are over real issues, but I feel like this isn’t the norm. I know more couples who have excellent in-law relationships, even though there are a few bumps in the road (as with any relationship) it overall works out.
It seems like a rite of passage for wifehood to swap MIL stories with her girlfriends. Sure, everyone has a story of that crazy thing she did or said, but most of the time they aren’t the horror stories that are sometimes embellished.
So here’s my challenge in consideration of Mother’s Day this weekend, try to stop perpetuating drama when it comes to in-laws.
My mother-in-law is nothing like my mom… and that’s 100% okay with me. She raised my husband and for that I love her. If my husband and I had moms that were alike, we wouldn’t be the same people that the other fell in love with.
Next time something your significant other’s mom does makes your eye twitch, take a second and a breath and remember that you love their child and the part she played in his or her character.
On another note…
I’d like to wish an early happy Mother’s Day to my own mom who brought me into this world and played a huge part in the woman and wife that I’ve become. I love you mom!
Also, thank you to the various moms with diabetes and moms of children with diabetes who have been sources of information to me these past two years!
I follow some amazing parents of children with diabetes on Twitter. I read their blogs and occasionally reach out to them for advice (OmniPod arm sites for example). I’ve found myself thankful that my pancreas carried me into adulthood. But you don’t often hear how a diagnosis of diabetes as an adult impacts your parents. I decided to ask my mom if she’d be willing to be interviewed.
Here’s what she said:
What were some of your thoughts when we first found out I had diabetes?
I was worried and torn. Your Dad was in CCU in Pittsburgh, while you were in a hospital in Ohio. Thankfully God placed Brad’s family there to help you. I was concerned about what this would mean for you over the long haul. I also thought about how stressful this had to be to a newly married couple.
Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if I’d had diabetes as a child? Read the rest of this entry
(CWD = Child with diabetes)
I was 22, graduated from college and married when I was diagnosed with diabetes. I say Type 1 a lot, but find that people don’t always understand so I say “juvenile diabetes” occasionally. But that’s not really true in my case. I’m an adult with type 1 diabetes. I’m a “typical type 1” medically, so I went from 60 to 0 in the pancreas department very quickly. During more extensive testing two months after I was diagnosed, we found out I make zero insulin. Which I suppose makes things easier and I don’t have to ever worry about the honeymoon period ending, because diabetes and I skipped our honeymoon.
In some ways, the late autoimmune response that massacred my insulin-producing cells was a blessing. I’ve been reading the diagnosis stories and the ongoing stories of people who grew up with diabetes and I can’t even imagine it.
My parents never had to function as an external organ for me. They didn’t have to agonize over giving me injections or getting our insurance to cover insulin. I didn’t have to deal with other kids thinking I was sick. I didn’t have to be on a first-name basis with the school nurse. I could compete in swimming without testing pool side or worry about keeping snacks in my extemp bin for high school speech. In college, I could eat in the dining hall without a second thought, I never had to take a test while low, or high. I got to celebrate my 21st birthday with a berry mojito and no insulin. I enjoyed our wedding cake with no worries of out of control blood sugar. For more than 2 decades, I was blissfully unaware and unaffected by type 1 diabetes. Read the rest of this entry
Things in my life are pretty good right now. Here are just a few points:
- My mom moved to Ohio with a position as an independent contractor doing personal training at a fitness club. This week, the place where she really wanted to work offered her the position that she really wanted to have. Also, it’s closer to where she’s living and pays benefits. I love seeing people congratulate her and say uplifting things. I also love that people who don’t even know her are conveying their congratulations through me. It makes me happy when people support those I love.
- It’s a short week. I love my job and I love flex time because Friday starts our anniversary (first anniversary!) weekend and our little getaway and neither of us have to use our vacation time that we’re
- We have plans for our vacation time that are incredibly exciting and I can’t wait to tell you about them soon. Very soon.
- My orchid sprouted a new leaf and my blossom still looks pretty. The crazy plant lady inside me is smiling.
- We discovered gummy vitamins for adults. Call me immature, but they’re pretty amazing. This may be on the side of TMI, but I have problems with my daily multivitamin upsetting my stomach (as in, I’ve actually thrown up my vitamin before it’s that bad and I can take pills). Since I have to combat low vitamin D among a bunch of other stuff this is a success. Gummies for the win!
- My Mazda continues to hold its lovely new car smell so in order to keep it that way, I have decided to put my new car air freshener in my office. So my workspace smells like a Vanilla Lime Yankee Candle and my lamp is coming in handy.
- This Tumblr makes me smile on a daily basis because I’ve been there.
What’s making you happy right now?
Note added: Also, thanks everyone who has been asking about my mouth. Everything seems to be healing/healed just fine and checked out with the surgeon during my follow-up.
This is my mom:
Since Mother’s Day is about celebrating moms, I though you all might like to meet the woman who gave me life. She’d had two other children before me, so I’m pretty lucky that my parents didn’t auction me off at birth.*
My mom is a strong woman with a surprising sense of humor and awesome arms (did I mention that she’s a personal trainer?) Read the rest of this entry