You can’t pick your family
…. but you can pick your friends.
I don’t normally get super personal on here unless I’m talking about my dad. But today, I’ve decided to share a recent revelation of mine having to do with family vs. friends.
You have no choice in the people you have as relatives, even if you don’t get along with them you’re supposed to try to be nice to them/love them/put up with their crap. I have a family member, whom I love, but have decided that my life is better without her in it (for now).
When you know someone who is in an emotionally abusive or oppressive romantic relationship, you encourage them to get out. Right? Well, after years of verbal and emotional abuse from this relative, I’ve decided to “break up” with her for my own mental health (as well as to relieve family tension).
I have been on the receiving end of negative comments, snide remarks, jealous accusations and outright verbal warfare from this lady for many years now, but the situation escalated when she started reaming my friends and insulting them in general. She was attacking my friends, ladies who had chosen to be like family to me and that just wasn’t fair.
I have a few girlfriends who I value much like sisters and throughout the years, they have been sisterly toward me and I have stepped into a sister role with them as well (none of them actually have sisters). They chose me and I chose them.
You can usually count on at least some of your family members to be there for you (and I can, don’t worry). But you can always count on the people who have adopted you into their lives the way that my surrogate sisters have.
My decision to “break up” with a family member broke my heart, but is ultimately better for my emotional health. And since she is family, when our relationship is in a healthier perspective, it will be easier to mend when both parties are willing.